Old Friends

You never know how much you truly miss someone until you speak to them for the first time in years. Those years have taken a toll, however, and even though you know this person is the friend from so long ago, you wonder if they are still a friend today.

Are they the same person? Of course not. Time changes everyone. If you are not there to grow with that person, then you will see the changes clearly. Thus the hesitance begins.

So, why am I rambling like a lunatic? Because today, two of my really good guy friends from highschool/the Bayfield 7 Cinemas, got in contact with me. I spoke to them both, one being a little more awkward than the other, but what can you say to someone who you had known so well... and then didn't?

I've always been horrible at keeping in touch with people from my past. I guess I could blame it on my moving around a lot, I don't form attachments to people that much. Yes, they are my friends, and I love them to death... but I can never bring myself to writing e-mails and what not. I don't know why. I'm going to work on that.

It's a wonderful feeling, reconnecting with old friends; but it's never the same. Having a coffee with Ryan now will not be like when we would wonder the halls at North together, talking about anything and everything. It usually involved me teasing him about all the girls who had crushes on him. Or us trying to have sophisticated discussions on philosophy and religion, while beating each other up in the hallway. He always won. Damn guys and their size advantage. Yes! I'm still bitter! Or even skipping our prom, and instead going with a group to a semi-formal a half a year later and just rocking out, and making absolute goofs of ourselves. Or even just the Timmy's runs. And drama... we had great acting chemistry. Guys, if this tells you anything, he was, and always will be, my John Proctor. Seriously. He even held my had for me when I was getting my blood taken because I was scared of needles.

Having a coffee with Alex will no longer be like when we would mess with people's movies at the theatre. Or have sword fights, or spit-shoot kernals at each other, or throw pennies, or stay up until 3am having the most frank and honest discussions I've ever had with anyone in my entire life. We could be complete goofs around each other. He was my brother. Now he's a bohemian Torontonian film graduate.

And people want to get away from their pasts? I wish I had kept mine a little more intact. I can't remember the last time I had a frank and honest discussion with anyone. I can't remember the last time I had a good debate about religion, literature, or anything. It's sad. It's empty even. Here we are in the academic prime of our lives, but all people discuss are parties, or clubs, or drama, or personal life stuff. And yes, it's my fault that I don't talk about other things... but how do you even start a conversation like that? Alex and Ryan made it easy. I don't think I would even know where to begin.

There's a saying I read a few weeks ago:

Great minds discuss ideas.
Good minds discuss events.
Poor minds discuss people.

I think I'm going to take this into consideration. It's time for a mind change on my part... that sounds weird, but you know what I mean. I'm turning a new leaf.

And so, I send this out to some of you: Care to have a discussion of ideas?