It's time

Four years ago I was on a high, a theatrical high that propelled me to be involved with theatre for the rest of my universtiy career... even if that meant school being neglected to some degree. In any case, the last four years have solidified my love of theatre, drama, and all that jazz... just, not neccessarily the bullshit that comes with it.

I have to admit outright that this year was my least favourite of all my time in SOS. The show was great, the actors were great, but for the first time in my life, I just didn't care. No, wait, I did care that the show went on, I just didn't care about the show. That's doesn't sound right, so let me explain.

Usually you get those show jitters, that elated feeling that comes with an adrenaline rush, the giddiness, the joy of being around these people that have become family in the past seven months. This year, it changed. There were no jitters, there was no high of giddiness, and I truly didn't have joy for some of the people that I had been working with for the past seven months.

There was no family atmosphere this year, there were cliques. People whispering about other people, childish rumours circulated, high school-ish drama breakdowns that should not have happened, and infighting that was nowhere near 'sibling disputes' as in previous years. No. SOS has changed, and not for the better.

Was it the people? I believe so. Not all mind you, just a select few. We ask, we plead, and we beg, yell, and scream for people to leave their personal baggage at the door. Do they do so? No. They have no respect for what someone says. They truly don't believe they're the problem... or they know they're the problem and just love the attention too much.

This was a hurtful year, full of backstabbing, choosing sides, unforgiveness, and melodrama. We have come so far in the five years of SOS, regaining some of what we lost with great improvments to the club's inventory. But who really cares about what posessions we hold when the heart of this club, what makes it truly fun, is rotting beneath us. We were not a family this year, not like in previous years, no. We were a pecking order, we were cliques, and we were horrible to each other. So horrible that people truly don't want to return next year, even after they are supposed to have that elated high after show weekend. When the person who should be most proud of their accomplishments is in tears of hurt and anger at the end of a show, I know something is far from just wrong. It's ruined.

For the first time ever, I am not sad that the play is over. For the first time ever, I'm glad I don't have to go to a rehearsal, or see some people. And this I find sad... and rather frightening. How did SOS, this club I have loved for so long, become something that I have nothing but apathy for?

I know my answers, but I won't post them here. All I know is this: I will be back next year, whether it be as a director or a backstage hand, or simply helping out the new executive in anyway I can (and that they want), but I will no longer put up with anyone degenerating this club. I refuse to let this thing go down at it's heart without a fight, and dammit, I can fight like I true redhead.

I am optimistic for next year. I really am. I just hope that the plague that riddled SOS this year will have cured and gone away.

Until then, SOS is done. Cast party, yes, but the play is over. The curtains are closed. No more dramatics folks, as the audience has gone home.